..on my beach + vivere outfit

beach 2009 - by fashionistanurse on Polyvore.com

...on being pasaway

I usually get myself in awkward situations..before when I'm mad I usally keep it to myself..yet after all the experiences I have been through..I became more vocal about my feelings.. yet I am really no expert when it comes to confronting or being a b*tch...My super ego always fights with my id and the ego is crushing right in front of me...!!!

wah! well I did something unfairly unacceptable behavior lastnyt.. and I'm sorry for that coz it involved a gud friend of mine..wah!

I just hope he won't take it against me.. I hope we could just laugh about it...I wish he'd reply...i really feel bad bout it..*sighs*


on the other hand it's always good when all your friends are back in your life..THANKS GUYS!!

..on my personal style

personal style 1 - by fashionistanurse on Polyvore.com

personal style 2 - by fashionistanurse on Polyvore.com



personal style 3 - by fashionistanurse on Polyvore.com

..on no contol of everything

wahhhhh*screams*

I have been stressing about my vacation plans .. first the US trip was postponed and now even the Hong Kong trip was postponed..it's giving me a headache already..huhuhuhu!

i think i'd start studying nalang..back on FOCUSING on reviewing for the NLE..*sighs*

..on my dream fashion event

A good thing to start the day is by having me,my cousin and other friends to be included in the guestlist of the up coming PHILIPPINE FASHION WEEK on May 26- June 3..

I am so excited 'coz it was one of my wish before I leave the country...yehey!!!

..on dream interpretation

Before I sleep I was having thoughts of him again..

tempting me to text him if he had a safe flight ...

was just listening to the radio...then I just fell asleep...

Waking up was the best part..coz I had a dream...

*blushes* I dreamt that I was hanging out with my ex and her sister and then me and my ex decided to sleep already and then we end up hugging and making love with eachother...*devilish smiles*

I also dreamt about my dad carrying my sleeping inaanak(1 year old) into the couch then I was just staring at her as she sleeps..

I was smiling and hugging my pillow when i woke up yet I knew I have to end my fantasy so I say my morning praying, then off I rushed to my mac to check my dream interpretation..

so here's what it means... -->

EX BOYFRIEND

1. The ex-lover is thinking about the dreamer intensely, and projecting telepathic messages towards her which she receives in her dreams.

2. Incompletions with this person that need to be resolved within the dreamer before he is truly free to move on to a new relationship.

3. Similarities between this past relationship and situations now in the dreamer's life. Solutions to current difficulties may be resolved by the dreamer's remembering how he dealt with the ex-lover.

HUGGING EX

To dream that you are hugging someone, symbolizes your loving and caring nature. you are holding someone or something close to your heart. alternatively, it may indicate your need to be more affectionate.

SEX

To dream about sex, refers to the psychological completion and the integration of contrasting aspects of the Self. You need to be more receptive and incorporate aspects of your dream sex partner into your own character. Alternatively and a more direct interpretation of the dream, may be your libido's way of telling you that it's been too long since you have had sex. It may indicate repressed sexual desires and your needs for physical and emotional love. 

SEX with EX

To dream that you are having sex with an ex or someone who is not your current mate, denotes your reservations about embarking in a new relationship or situation. You may feel nervous about exposing yourself or currently feel a resurgence of those old emotions and feelings that you felt back when you and your ex were together.

SISTER of my EX

To see the sister of your EX in your dream, represents characteristics in her that you find within your own self. Consider also your waking relationship with her.

FATHER

To see your father in your dream, symbolizes authority and protection. It suggests that you need to be more self-reliant. Consider also your waking relationship with your father and how aspects of his character may be incorporated within yourself.

BABY

To see a baby in your dream, signifies innocence, warmth and new beginnings. Babies symbolize something in your own inner nature that is pure, vulnerable, helpless and/or uncorrupted. If you find a baby in your dream, then it suggests that you have acknowledged your hidden potential.

---

ok...so it really does connect with my present situation.. the dream was overwhelming and I am not sure if it suggest of communicating with my ex again and finding for closure since I am now on the verge of letting go and moving on..I guess it will be best for the both of us to have space and just see how things will be in the future..for now I'm gonna enjoy my new potentials!!!

*winks*(i take that back) i texted him and told him i dreamt about him..but i didnt go into details anymore don't wanna shock his morning...*kapeesh*

..on loving my Savior

thank you Lord....

going to Hong Kong na this weekend 

and LaLuz Batangas when I get back!

now life starts to make sense again!!!

..on our last text message

"take care of yourself,'ope you're not mad at me coz i don't wanna part hating eachother,i'm not mad at you don't worry..I just wish that the next time we'see eachother we will be more mature and know how to deal with everything..goodbye for now until the next surprise..God bless you!"

..on hating changing plans

the past few weeks I have been on intense situations..After getting the results of the Course Audit and luckily I PASSED.. I am determined to take the June boards, focused on reviewing for the freaking exam..I had conditioned myself already... yet life isn't perfect and will never be..(i guess)

My sister has been pressuring me to go with her on a US vacation together with other relatives since she doesn't want to go on flight alone... I had doubts because I'll be missing 2 weeks of my review and that'll be a major risk...So I weighed my status.. for some reasons I wanna join them coz I really do wanna see my family and friends in NY... and so I said I will join them...andnot postponing my local board plans I  enrolled for  a review this April ..i am willing to take the risk....

But then after deciding on things..I got  a call from my uncle telling me that he won't allow me to join them this May rather I move my flight after the board exam.. and my dad commented also the same way... WAAAAAAAH!!! I hate it when I have to decide again for the 2nd time...I hate the pressure that they are giving me..for a moment I thinked and got disappointed (nakakawalang gana na) parang I am left with no choice but to change my decision..

well changes means a lot of violent reaction.. and initially my sister got upset and blamed me on why do I have to go on a review this April to June and not postponed the exam on November instead.and other inconsiderate comments!!!. (sometimes I wonder if she's really my sister,she just never understands me) 

ohwell the final decision is that she's going to the US with them by herself and I'll be staying here to not miss any of my review schedule.. (easy to accept if I haven't conditioned myself already on the Pros of leaving)

I just need to wallow and cry it out again.. before things are clear to me...condition myself on another life changing decision...(which is staying here in Manila)

Pros:

• Stay focused on my review
• Bigger chances of passing the NLE
• Make my dad and uncle WIN! on me not joining

Cons:

• I won't see mama,daddy and tin..not until 4-6months from now..
• Cindy my chinese bestfriend will be upset if she knew i won't be going there soon..
• My driking date with leon will be postponed.
• I need to take back all the excitement and news that I'll be leaving on May..
• No more escape and change in the environment..stuck in Manila!

Well, I was really looking forward already on the trip 

and now I have to look forward on something else!!!

Rian isipen mo nalang:

1. Ayeen will be here in Manila on April 11

2. Baka matuloy yung Hong Kong trip on March 28-31

3. May beach plans kayo ni Cates on April 1

4. Your finally single and ready to mingle,enjoy!

5. Review for 2 freaking months might be fun! (grrr)