.1 week of not being makulit.

i feel so resented by people close to me right now..like my existence has become so irritating for them.. :( have i been so inconsiderate ba? it depresses me getting negative vibes.. parang i just wanna be quiet and invisible for a week and wait for the time when they all miss me again..haaay! parang it's hard being ME..ang daming restrictions/complications/expectations .. I just wish i could be free and happy..  

maybe i'll just make use of this week to contemplate on my goals for 2010.. 

*sighs* 

anti-social mode :ON

.memory - fragma.

***One second of hope.Is a week of regret.The curse of the mind.Is that it never forgets***It’s only…Memory, memory, memory.It’s all over the top now.Memory, memory, memory.And I need it to stop now***

on my New Year Goals -2010

 2009 is over . Well so far it has been the best year of all time.. I was able to receive a lot of blessings and answered prayers.. thank you LORD!! I passed the NLE June - got a Nursing job @ SLMC - Parents and sister went to visit Manila after 7 years!!! Winner talaga..

 so for the year 2010:

I need to make my new goals and have a fresh start. :P

so far living the first 17 days of Jan. 2010 was very busy and toxic. There was Cate's wedding last Jan.4 in Baguio + Family major outing + Work work work + Met someone on the love category.whew a lot of things has happened already and that's a good thing to start the year!!!

Well i still need to list down a draft of my goals for the year..

here's what I have in mind..

1. Learn to drive a stickshift car

2. Get as many nursing trainings and seminars

3. Complete all the NCLEX requirements

4. Take/Pass the NCLEX

5. Take/Pass IELTS

6. Stabilize the business with bless

7. Revive my online store

8. Look for my own "mananahe"

9. Pimp my room space

10. Have a serious relationship

11. more.....

yikes! I really do need a lot of discipline and budgeting to accomplish these.. Positive lang ako palage .. I know all of these will be done before the year ends!!! Keeping the FAITH up! :)

.on being confused.

am I just bored, or magkakaron lang ba ako..or am I missing him..waaah! well I went out on a date with *J lastnight well ok naman..medyo quiet lang sha..mga booboos namemention ko name ni *P..i'm getting crazy again..am I afraid of being attached ??? d kona alam.. all i know is i just wanna have fun..well *P is a lot of fun...on the otherhand *J is a gentleman.. wah!! i need a drink.. ayoko na ibig deal and bigyan ng meaning lahat ng ito..well i the end it's a matter of wait and see

.on life without internet.

it's been a 2 weeks since I last got online..Well those two weeks have been crazy for me..Everything started with Bagyong Ondoy -and stillI manage to attend my bestfriend's birthday party..Her crowd has been very different from mine,well kinda - siguro I ust have a lot of friends from different walks of life kaya I tend to categorize.. Anyway as always Ms.Congeniality nanaman ang act ko + added boost of confidence and kakulitan from the alcohol. In a night I was able to make new friends,even crash another birthday party..everything was unplanned and these are those times when you just let go of all your fears and hesitations.. Surprisingly I discovered something about myself that I never thought I can be.. I met someone -well he's just the typical guy who goes to parties and send out those "nice-friendly-bad boy-flirty" moves with girls.. still with respect I just let things flow and tried to discover a mystery.. this urge and curiosity has been unveiled - and i got this feeling like when you have been super resentful of doing something and when u got the guts to do it you find out that it's not as complicated as you thought it was..Lesson Learned: You live ,You learn ...at present I am actually fine -I'm not even affected

.on long hours infront of mac.

Beb had suggested this new online fashion dress up site. "looklet.com" and Yes I got hooked and made 8 sets in just an hour.. Compared to polyvore.com the site gives the user a model to choose from and have a magazine type outcome..it works for me coz i can't take pictures of myself and blog on chictopia.com..well it adds up to my delight having new sites of this kind..another enticing activity on the web...to view my account "fashionistanurse" 

 

.on choosing the road less traveled.(dateless)

I'm getting to know this guy through text..i was hesitant at first 'cause i find the process cheesy, being a WYSIWIG -type of girl I'm not good in not showing the true me..I don't want him to think that I am putting my best foot forward .. yet it seems like ganun tlga pag first chat you have to  sell yourself and let the true you be unveiled when you meet in person na...

on the other hand I'm losing an old fire..it's been a year that i'm trying to work things out with him yet even in the fling level is hard to maintain.. communicating with him is like always a first time encounter..super low rate of relationship growth. -eff* waste of time

if there's one relationship that i am proud of it would be with lil bro..we went from lil bro-babe-steady-lil bro again yet things are always cool with us..a lot of room to grow especially when we get to live in the same country soon..nothing beats the good old ym-ming tool to keep the friendship burning...

i am doomed for  weeks i've been pressuring myself on getting a date for my bestfriend's birthday party yet it seems like i won't have one..i'm not even excited anymore..*phew*